Finding My Forever
by ilovecarlospena93
Summary: Forever is how long we have left. There will come a day where we never have to say good bye, only a kiss goodnight. A time where we'll wake up in each others arms every morning, and I'll still look at you as if its the first time I laid eyes on you. The kind of love that will last forever.


_**A/N: HOLY SHIT I AM BACKKKKKK! Yes, I know, where have I been, what have I been doing, and as much as I would love to say I was scaling the peaks of Quebec or riding a camel in Israel, that isn't the case. I have been working a lot, having crazy family issues (hence me not writing) and being in love with the most amazing person on planet earth. Me, the straight girl, fell in love with my co-worker, who just so happens to be a woman. Me and Cassie have been dating for three months, and I have never been so in love or happy in my whole life. This fic is basically the Kenlos version of our story. She and I have a crazy, whirlwind of a story that involves copious amounts of alcohol, a cider mill, radishes, and strangely enough boy issues. But yeah, you are in for a treat! :) Carlos will be depicting my side of the story, whereas Kendall will be Cass'.**_

_**I do not own Big Time Rush, or anything else that belongs to someone that isn't me...So yeah. **_

Where better to start off a story than at the heart-wrenching, tragic, slightly dramatic, holy-hell-how-did-I-get-here moment? This is where I, Carlos Garcia, will start telling you how my life went from beyond disrepair to my happiest moments.

So, I guess I will start with that I was a man-whore. No nice way to put it, I found out a few months before I met Kendall Knight that I liked sex, and I liked it a lot. It started when I met this girl on an online dating website, met up with her, and ended up losing my virginity to her in a hotel room. Nothing really romantic about it, just four hours of fucking, that basically led to me getting attached emotionally to someone who only wanted me for sex, and nothing else. Sure, she says I was a good friend to talk to but an even better fuck buddy. When we talked about starting an actual relationship with eachother, she came up with at least a hundred different excuses why we wouldn't work, and to just keep it casual. Sex with no strings attached. It was easier that way. It, in fact, was and I soon realized that I was become somewhat of an addict. All I thought about was when was the next time I was going to get laid. But what I didn't realize was the inner decay that was happening. No, nothing gross like an STD, but I mean emotionally. My personality was forming into someone I didn't know, and someone my friends didn't know. My best friend, James, literally said he felt like he no longer knew me. That where was the Carlos he had met in elementary school? The fun-loving, slightly naive Carlos that dreamed of falling in love with the perfect girl, and riding off into the sunset...you get the mental picture. I guess I didn't believe it at first, I chalked it up to that I was maturing. James continued to support me as a friend and confidant, but I told him less and less of what really was going on, and I felt this distance start to form.

Anyway, after Raina, the girl I lost the V-card to, I began branching out. I had known this girl, Carissa, for three years, she worked at the coffee shop I frequented. We were good friends, always a little flirty but nothing over the top. But things quickly changed when one day, we got to talking about sex and other things that went along with it, and to make a short story even shorter, we wound up in the back of the coffee shop, her giving me a blowjob. At a later date, I went to her apartment and we had sex. That happened more times than I care to admit. But again, it was nothing emotional, it was simply "just sex". No real fireworks, sure it was really pleasurable, but it wasn't spectacular. Honestly, though, I hadn't had the love-making experience that everyone raved about.

So, back to the inner decay. It became more and more apparent with every passing day. It became so much so, that I even began to notice it. I just didn't know what to do about it, and I was so deep into this new life that I didn't know how to pull myself out. So I just continued going to work every day, at the grocery store, Sherwood's, in my little town in Minnesota. That's where things get interesting. I had been working there about a month when I officially met and talked to my quiet, kind of unapproachable co-worker, Kendall Knight. No one knew much about him, no one could really say that they talked to him. He was this mystery wrapped in a beautiful person. He had it all, blonde hair, bottle green eyes, tall, thin but not frail, and a stunning smile when he actually flashed one. Me, I am outgoing and energetic, everyone knew me, I got along with everyone, so the fact that I hadn't befriended this boy kind of became a nagging problem, an itch that I had to scratch. I once complimented him on his hair, but he just smiled and didn't say anything really. I just shrugged and walked away. But later that night, after an epic battle with a container of organic blueberries, the fruit won and ended up going everywhere. Of course, I still had the customer in front of me, impatient to get out the door, and a little irritated that their blueberries were strewn everywhere, I was stranded in a sea of small, blue fruit, not knowing quite what to do. That's when I saw him walking over with a broom and a dustpan, and as I finished ringing up the person's order, he cleaned up the mess. When the customer left, and Kendall was pouring the last pan-full into the garbage, he looked up at me from his crouched position, and with a glint of humour dancing in his eyes he said,

"Ya know, this definitely isn't in my job description."

I could do nothing but laugh. Because it was funny, and well, he could have said "aardvark" and I would have laughed, because he was so quiet, I had never even heard him speak really, so anything would have been hysterical in a moment like this.

Well, I guess now I want to take you into the story. Tell it like it is all happening now, not just me telling you events. My journey with Kendall is a long one, but also extremely funny and it has a lot of twists and turns. Things you wouldn't see coming. So now that you have back story, what I want to tell you about next is our first time we hung out outside of work. Buckle your seatbelts, folks, it's gunna be a bumpy ride.


End file.
